Wondering Wonderstruck

 

Flowers are one of my favourite parts of this beautiful world and they're special to me. Every human being, those who are my friends and those who I haven't yet had the pleasure to meet; all have a place in my heart.

 

 

Fields of green surround me

Shades of evergreens and limes

Mystifying my eyes into an a bliss of wonder.

 

The scent of fresh grass sprinkled

with a blanket of daisies

I shall tip toe between ever flower

spinning in the sunlight.

 

If every flower was a person

living in fear or poverty around the world

I would sweep them up

and hold them so close to my chest.

 

Isn't it funny how daises are perfectly equal,

 just as we are.

And just as we can be they are fragile,

 needing love and care.

 

We wouldn't trample on the flowers

so let's not trample on the hearts of others.

Let us all be free like the flowers.

 

 

Reflections of India- Beautifully Indian

India has the most beautiful culture, the bright coloured majestic clothing, the entrancing music, the incredible spicy food and the variety of religions, to name just a few elements. Each day I became more accustomed to the wonders around me, each day I learnt more about the countries traditions and diverse people. And each day I wished more and more that didn’t have to return back to England.

I have been back from Tamil Nadu, India for just under a month now and it's frightening how quickly one can adapt back to normal life. As soon as I returned I was straight in the warm shower and enjoying the comfort of my cosy bed. India feels like a distant memory, but at the same time the incredible people I met and the places I visited will always have a place in my heart. Every experience I had, each person I met has made me who I am now and will continue to shape the person I become.

 

Recently I have started an internship in Oxford for Oxfam and as a result of that I have been spending a large amount of my time travelling and on the train. I have always found train journeys exciting and peaceful. I moment in the day to think about my thoughts and others. I chance to breathe. This week as I sat watching the world rush past me in my little carriage I wrote about India. I have been feeling so guilty for not struggling to come back to my life in England. In some horrendous ways it feels as though I could have never actually been away at all.

 

It is very easy to become so self centred and focused on our own lives. Since I have returned this is something I notice more around me in others. We are all so busy, always on the go, rushing around for our lives. And I fear that I too may have succumb to this. I have focused on my next steps, seeing friends and family. For me my life has changed, did it for those I left behind?

 

It's so strange being back,

India now apart of me,

No more am I apart of it.

 

I want to think of them always,

but I don't.

I simply get one with my life,

I move on to my future.

 

What does their future hold?

Memories of laughter and happiness.

That's not fair though

 

My life has changed

I travel onwards and upwards

While Pavi waits to be married.

 

Sasi is desperately trying to find a job

and Presanth and Naveen hang around,

hoping...

 

Facebook can keep us connected,

as far as emojis and Sapt tan la's can go

We say friends always but is that a friendship?

 

I wish we could be together properly

without social media and the rest of the globe I our way.

It's not a fair life!

I get the chance to explore and discover, why not them too.

We are the same, we are equal.

 

 

Maybe if everyone who read this could just take a few moments out of their day to think about somebody else, how our actions never simply affect just ourselves and how so many lives all over this world need  to be supported. I will be trying my best to continue using my train journeys to write and think about the world, especially those in India who I met and love very dearly.It can start with a thought. A little prayer and wish for others.

 

Stay Beautiful,

 

                     Zsofia xxxx

 

Sleeping 35 degree heat...

I am not sure I can remember what sleeping without the fans lullaby would sound like, what is silence? I certainly haven't had the pleasure of meeting it for a while now. What is the cold? The words of Frozen seem like such a mystery to me these days, oh how I wish to build a snowman!

When I first arrived the hectic streets and sardine packed buses were far from desirable but now it's as easy as a,b,c. I do still find myself hoping for times of personal space but I have arrived at the understanding that really this isn't going to happen.It is wonderful being around so many new and interesting people all the time, learning so much about how diverse we all our but  also just how similar we are too. Sometimes I do wish I could have a moment for myself, a moment to breathe and  to be free, able to think about my own thoughts.


 Surprisingly my anxiety have been limited. I often find this when I travel, I get this sense of calm within myself. Previously when I traveled to Romania and Uganda with Teams4U I found that my troubles vanish.  It may have partly because I was far to excited with my new adventure but I believe it has do with the fact that I have other issues to focus on. Other people and other challenges to support. Myself and my inside worries and thoughts don't become a shadow of fear casting over my heart. I can see clearly that my self concerns can be pushed to the side and replaced by brighter, better worries of other people. I am not saying that while I have been in India I don't get anxious. I do. I am simply able to control my worries and panic attacks better than when I am at home.

Recently Cormac, Charlotte and  I took to the hills. I felt like Maria, spinning around in the mountains and singing to my self, 'The hills are alive with the sounds of music'  It's hard to find words to express how beautiful and relaxing the surroundings were. I hadn't really noticed how much nervous energy had actually been building up and hiding inside of me until we arrived on the hills and a weight was lifted from my soul. I was myself again. We traveled by bus and then got an auto to the top of the hills. It was worth every penny, chugging along with the wind in my hair, swerving around the twisting roads. We watched the palm trees turn into a play set and the monkeys squabble and menace about below. The auto driver even let us stop half way up to take photos of the delicious view. The rest of the day was spent wondering around the nature park (which wasn't overly prosperous due to droughts) and discovering that the amazing must see waterfall had dried up. Still we had a little boat trip on the small lake and enjoyed the not too hot sunshine. Honestly the most heavenly day with some lovely people. I may not have been having daily panic attacks since being in India I defiantly needed this peaceful break. I am so grateful for this chance to gather my thoughts and be free.

 I pray for those all over the world who never have the chance to feel safe, break away and have time for themselves.

Stay Beautiful,

Zsofia 

       xxxx

'The hills are alive with the sounds of music'