I am not sure I can remember what sleeping without the fans lullaby would sound like, what is silence? I certainly haven't had the pleasure of meeting it for a while now. What is the cold? The words of Frozen seem like such a mystery to me these days, oh how I wish to build a snowman!
When I first arrived the hectic streets and sardine packed buses were far from desirable but now it's as easy as a,b,c. I do still find myself hoping for times of personal space but I have arrived at the understanding that really this isn't going to happen.It is wonderful being around so many new and interesting people all the time, learning so much about how diverse we all our but also just how similar we are too. Sometimes I do wish I could have a moment for myself, a moment to breathe and to be free, able to think about my own thoughts.
Surprisingly my anxiety have been limited. I often find this when I travel, I get this sense of calm within myself. Previously when I traveled to Romania and Uganda with Teams4U I found that my troubles vanish. It may have partly because I was far to excited with my new adventure but I believe it has do with the fact that I have other issues to focus on. Other people and other challenges to support. Myself and my inside worries and thoughts don't become a shadow of fear casting over my heart. I can see clearly that my self concerns can be pushed to the side and replaced by brighter, better worries of other people. I am not saying that while I have been in India I don't get anxious. I do. I am simply able to control my worries and panic attacks better than when I am at home.
Recently Cormac, Charlotte and I took to the hills. I felt like Maria, spinning around in the mountains and singing to my self, 'The hills are alive with the sounds of music' It's hard to find words to express how beautiful and relaxing the surroundings were. I hadn't really noticed how much nervous energy had actually been building up and hiding inside of me until we arrived on the hills and a weight was lifted from my soul. I was myself again. We traveled by bus and then got an auto to the top of the hills. It was worth every penny, chugging along with the wind in my hair, swerving around the twisting roads. We watched the palm trees turn into a play set and the monkeys squabble and menace about below. The auto driver even let us stop half way up to take photos of the delicious view. The rest of the day was spent wondering around the nature park (which wasn't overly prosperous due to droughts) and discovering that the amazing must see waterfall had dried up. Still we had a little boat trip on the small lake and enjoyed the not too hot sunshine. Honestly the most heavenly day with some lovely people. I may not have been having daily panic attacks since being in India I defiantly needed this peaceful break. I am so grateful for this chance to gather my thoughts and be free.
I pray for those all over the world who never have the chance to feel safe, break away and have time for themselves.
Stay Beautiful,
Zsofia
xxxx
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| 'The hills are alive with the sounds of music' |
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