Second Home in Uganda

I may have been to Uganda four times now but each has been significantly differently and significantly special. My first year was full of excitement and emotion, it was my first time experiencing African culture and being exposed to such saddening poverty.The second year unfortunately I caught malaria and last year I began to grow in confidence. The work we were doing and projects developing focusing on women and young girls truly captured my heart.

This year the team was slightly different, compiled with families and youth workers. The atmosphere was calmer, relaxing and I never once stopped smiling. Since my first visit Uganda has felt a part of me but this year it felt as though I had come home. I felt more myself than I do in England. Children ran for miles to us, the muzungas, just to touch and see these crazy people wave.They grin, they chuckle and from an instance there is a bond. The strongest sort of bond ever created, love.

I may write in more detail about my trip another time but for now I thought I would just share a few snippets. A few pieces of writing, which I have written over the years at the end of working days in Uganda. The trip was far too short, I could have continued visiting schools forever. Continued sharing the importance of education and talking about menstruation with young girls. I would willing continue singing, dancing and playing sports with the children, as they watch their families and communities test for HIV/AIDS. Uganda has been an amazing part of my year and the people I met and friends I made will always have a part of my heart. I simply wish it could have been my whole year.

 Something so plan
Something used for a purpose
A carrying container
'Run, run, run' we say as we hop between each foot,
'Faster, faster...go now'
Produces joy from ear to ear
A moment shared is all it seems to take
A wave, a hello, or even just a water bottle
produce a smile on the surface
But who stops to listen.
Stops to hear
Stops to solve the cause of disease and poverty?
A wave can bring happiness
A wave can bring an inner warmth inside,
A condescending ear with out direction still means nothing..

 I can't think straight
My mind is overcome with thoughts
Their beautiful smiles,

Their heavenly heartfelt laughter
Why can't it always be like his for them
Why must they struggle to get water,
Why must they wear ripped and dirty clothes,
Why must they starve.

Today I danced and sang
Today I laughed and ran around
Today I wept at the happiness love can bring
and cried at their poverty.

 So proud, so welcoming
Straw for the roof
The rain can get in.
Mud on the floor
with one bed to rest in.

A food store in the corner
even though the grain won't far
You  know if you were hungry
what's theirs would became your buffet cart.

They would share
without a second thought
For they care
'what's mine is yours and what's yours is mine'

I just wish I could help them
provide for them all
Give them clothes, shelter and foods galore.
For each person, for each day, throughout their life,
So they could live in prosperity.

Who am I to say, let's change your life style?

Who am I to say let's urbanise your world?

Why should they listen to me?

I don't hold these answers,

but what I can do right now, 

in this moment,

is to talk and listen and hold them close.

Create a smile that lasts forever

embedded in their memories

And never let go!

            For  we are all equal,

Blind, deaf or colour of skin.

We are the same,

We can laugh together, cry together, care for one another.

And I will always remember these days.

Jessica (above) and so many others are now my friends. I hope they never forget the day when I was one of the muzungas that didn't just drive by but stayed to play.
As always I will be thinking of those who have touched my heart and praying for their health and happiness.

All my love always,
Stay Beautiful
     Zsofia xxxx

Girls having received panties and pads

The Art of Loneliness

We all have moments of loneliness, times when we feel as though nobody can possibly understand. There is no one there who one can rely on. No one around to emphasise with us in times when we can't truly understand ourselves. It's easy to say one feels alone, but in the true light of things are we ever actually completely alone?

People surround us in everyday life. The world is heavily populated after all you know. People are forever talking, the sounds of the rushing world past by. When are we free to be on our own, actually alone in body and soul. While we sleep? I suppose though my parents are only in the opposite room. When we are asleep we are peaceful and tranquil, when we awaken do even remember the feeling? The dreams we dreamt drift away as our eyelids awaken to a new day. With it the sense of alone has passed and it is as if we were never truly alone at all

Still we can all feel lonely. I can be in a sea of chatter and inside it is as though nobody notices I am even there. Crowds don't nessesarily mean you are with people, or noticed. I would say that in the most part the times I feel most lonesome are when surrounded by people. With people I can hide myself and be alone. But I am never actually on my own. Lonely in soul but submerged in a  crowded world.

I do however believe that many people are truly alone. In the sense of family and friendships. It breaks my heart to say this but there are people who have nobody. No one to talk to, share the day with, nobody to love them. Nobody in their hearts. That must be what true loneliness is, having nobody in your heart, friends, family. Without some form of love, you are empty and alone.

I may feel lonely somedays but my heart is always full of love from my parents, family and friends. Even when my body is on it's own, my heart is never left without love. I am so grateful for this and truly aware that many in this world don't have people to care for them. And I wish I could change this, I wish I could tell all the people in the world that I love them. 

May I use this time to say, that all I want, more than anything is for everybody to feel loved and cared for. Whoever I meet in my life, tomorrow or in many years to come, I hope they know how much I care. I love those I meet years ago and I love those whom I am yet to meet. We all need to be cared for, we all need love.

In a few days I fly to Uganda to work with the charity Teams4U. This is my fourth time in the town of Kumi. In this area there are so many with nothing in the way of materialistic objects or money  but some have a loving community, a real sense of togetherness. Then again far too many have no one, no family. While I am there I hope that they all know they have a place in my heart, maybe I can find a place in theirs. 

I will be thinking of them forever, and I will be thinking of you too. I pray that you never have to feel true loneliness, for remember, you will be in my heart always.

Stay Beautiful,

         Zsofia xxxx

Even this little cute chick needs to know it is loved!

Friends on the go...

At the moment I am spending a lot of my time travelling between cities on the train. I have always loved the train, finding it peaceful to sit and watch the world wizz past from the comfort of my little red seat. I never become bored, admiring the world through the glass window of the train. Often I make conversation with my fellow passengers. Simply asking if they have had a nice day and where they are going.
I remember on one clear occasion when I was travelling from Exeter to Coventry I was sat next to this elderly lady. I was tired and not in the best of moods but as soon as she begun to talk I felt calmer and my day didn't seem that bad at all. She listened to me moan about my worries at university and gave me advice without judgement. She then continued to tell me all about the reasons for her journey. She was on the way to meet her friend in Bristol. They reunite once a year for a long lunch, catching up on the past year and reminiscing on their times together at university. I can't help but smile when I think of friendships which have so much history and have simply lasted a whole life time. I hope one day I will have friends who I have had the pleasure of knowing my whole life, friends whom I love and care for, friends which make me laugh and smile; friends who actually love me for being myself.

 'It's often said that people come into our lives for a reason, bringing something we must learn. And we are led to those, who help us most to grow, if we let them...I don't know if I believe that's true, but I know I'm who I am today because I knew you!' 

  I also recall another train journey, again travelling back from Exeter to Coventry. I was sat at a table seat alongside 4 other individuals. An elderly lady who had non stop fits of giggles, this business man who could talk for England and then a chemistry student. I sadly don't remember what we spoke about but I do remember being told off my other carriage members to keep quiet as we were having far to much fun. Not all journeys are entertaining or full of enchanting people. Unfortunately most of the time it is just me and my notebook and pen, with my music playing in my ears gazing at the world around me. Over time I have become accustomed  to my own company, a tranquil state of mind, being by myself as I move around towns.

But it does sadden me that in general we are all so busy immersed in our own little lives we don't think to chat to the person next to us at a bus stop, or ask the lady on the train if she is having a nice day. If someone was to ask us a question I wonder how often we walk past with out stopping to listen. We are in a rush, only thinking about getting from A to B. Maybe if we were more open to making friends in less conventional places we would have more happy moments in our days and more friends to smile and share laughter with? Maybe if we made a conscious effort to think of others before ourselves we would  converse with those around us, stopping to help give directions on the street or listening to someone off load their concerns.

Let's all  make the time to be friendly to the people around us who we may not normally give our attention too. I believe in you!

Stay Beautiful,

    Zsofia
          xxxx

Simply be...Kind!

'Carry out a random act of kindness with the same hope that one day someone might do the same thing for you' Princess Diana

Kindness is the quality of being friendly, generous and considerate. An act, something which we can all achieve on an everyday basis and most of the time it is part of our everyday nature. We don't have to specifically try to be considerate or show affection as it is is part of our human nature to be kind. Sometimes however we can be so busy we may not be as polite or thoughtful as we should be or would have liked to have been.

 Each day  I try to be conscious of my decisions especially those that affect others around me. I often think 'oh  I should have done this then' or smiled more at the lady. We so easily get wrapped up in our personal world and forget the impact we can have on a persons day. If  I am feeling sad and somebody smiles at me or holds the door open for me I instantly feel brighter. So I have come up with a few ways we can all try that bit harder to be kind to those around us. And hopefully light a sunshine in people's hearts. 

1. Simply smile as you walk around town, smile at the people you pass by on the way to work. Maybe even say 'hello' or 'good morning' to the person waiting at the bus stop with you.
2. Take a minute to stop and give someone directions even though you may be in a rush.
3. Write a note for someone at work to brighten their day. Why not try, 'Never forget how beautiful you are'.
4. Help a mother with her pram up and down stairs or someone with their suitcase.
5. Say please and thank you and truly mean it.
6. Hold the door for someone and stay there until everyone has come trough without moaning that you aren't a door stop.
7. Offer your time to a friend or neighbour for babysitting.
8. Buy a stranger a coffee.
9. Give a shop assistant a home made treat so they know how much you appreciate their help.
10. On crowded public transport offer your seat to anybody who looks like they need to sit down.

These are simply a few examples, there are endless amount of ways to bring kindness and love to those around us.  I like to write thank you notes for people; to wish them a nice day and to always make sure I ask people how they are and  actively listen to their response.Putting others before yourself can be challenging, especially in our fast paced lifestyles but give it a try!

The world is full of magically wonderful people like yourself so share your happiness with them.

Stay Beautiful,

          Zsofia xxxx 

Wondering Wonderstruck

 

Flowers are one of my favourite parts of this beautiful world and they're special to me. Every human being, those who are my friends and those who I haven't yet had the pleasure to meet; all have a place in my heart.

 

 

Fields of green surround me

Shades of evergreens and limes

Mystifying my eyes into an a bliss of wonder.

 

The scent of fresh grass sprinkled

with a blanket of daisies

I shall tip toe between ever flower

spinning in the sunlight.

 

If every flower was a person

living in fear or poverty around the world

I would sweep them up

and hold them so close to my chest.

 

Isn't it funny how daises are perfectly equal,

 just as we are.

And just as we can be they are fragile,

 needing love and care.

 

We wouldn't trample on the flowers

so let's not trample on the hearts of others.

Let us all be free like the flowers.

 

 

Reflections of India- Beautifully Indian

India has the most beautiful culture, the bright coloured majestic clothing, the entrancing music, the incredible spicy food and the variety of religions, to name just a few elements. Each day I became more accustomed to the wonders around me, each day I learnt more about the countries traditions and diverse people. And each day I wished more and more that didn’t have to return back to England.

I have been back from Tamil Nadu, India for just under a month now and it's frightening how quickly one can adapt back to normal life. As soon as I returned I was straight in the warm shower and enjoying the comfort of my cosy bed. India feels like a distant memory, but at the same time the incredible people I met and the places I visited will always have a place in my heart. Every experience I had, each person I met has made me who I am now and will continue to shape the person I become.

 

Recently I have started an internship in Oxford for Oxfam and as a result of that I have been spending a large amount of my time travelling and on the train. I have always found train journeys exciting and peaceful. I moment in the day to think about my thoughts and others. I chance to breathe. This week as I sat watching the world rush past me in my little carriage I wrote about India. I have been feeling so guilty for not struggling to come back to my life in England. In some horrendous ways it feels as though I could have never actually been away at all.

 

It is very easy to become so self centred and focused on our own lives. Since I have returned this is something I notice more around me in others. We are all so busy, always on the go, rushing around for our lives. And I fear that I too may have succumb to this. I have focused on my next steps, seeing friends and family. For me my life has changed, did it for those I left behind?

 

It's so strange being back,

India now apart of me,

No more am I apart of it.

 

I want to think of them always,

but I don't.

I simply get one with my life,

I move on to my future.

 

What does their future hold?

Memories of laughter and happiness.

That's not fair though

 

My life has changed

I travel onwards and upwards

While Pavi waits to be married.

 

Sasi is desperately trying to find a job

and Presanth and Naveen hang around,

hoping...

 

Facebook can keep us connected,

as far as emojis and Sapt tan la's can go

We say friends always but is that a friendship?

 

I wish we could be together properly

without social media and the rest of the globe I our way.

It's not a fair life!

I get the chance to explore and discover, why not them too.

We are the same, we are equal.

 

 

Maybe if everyone who read this could just take a few moments out of their day to think about somebody else, how our actions never simply affect just ourselves and how so many lives all over this world need  to be supported. I will be trying my best to continue using my train journeys to write and think about the world, especially those in India who I met and love very dearly.It can start with a thought. A little prayer and wish for others.

 

Stay Beautiful,

 

                     Zsofia xxxx

 

Sleeping 35 degree heat...

I am not sure I can remember what sleeping without the fans lullaby would sound like, what is silence? I certainly haven't had the pleasure of meeting it for a while now. What is the cold? The words of Frozen seem like such a mystery to me these days, oh how I wish to build a snowman!

When I first arrived the hectic streets and sardine packed buses were far from desirable but now it's as easy as a,b,c. I do still find myself hoping for times of personal space but I have arrived at the understanding that really this isn't going to happen.It is wonderful being around so many new and interesting people all the time, learning so much about how diverse we all our but  also just how similar we are too. Sometimes I do wish I could have a moment for myself, a moment to breathe and  to be free, able to think about my own thoughts.


 Surprisingly my anxiety have been limited. I often find this when I travel, I get this sense of calm within myself. Previously when I traveled to Romania and Uganda with Teams4U I found that my troubles vanish.  It may have partly because I was far to excited with my new adventure but I believe it has do with the fact that I have other issues to focus on. Other people and other challenges to support. Myself and my inside worries and thoughts don't become a shadow of fear casting over my heart. I can see clearly that my self concerns can be pushed to the side and replaced by brighter, better worries of other people. I am not saying that while I have been in India I don't get anxious. I do. I am simply able to control my worries and panic attacks better than when I am at home.

Recently Cormac, Charlotte and  I took to the hills. I felt like Maria, spinning around in the mountains and singing to my self, 'The hills are alive with the sounds of music'  It's hard to find words to express how beautiful and relaxing the surroundings were. I hadn't really noticed how much nervous energy had actually been building up and hiding inside of me until we arrived on the hills and a weight was lifted from my soul. I was myself again. We traveled by bus and then got an auto to the top of the hills. It was worth every penny, chugging along with the wind in my hair, swerving around the twisting roads. We watched the palm trees turn into a play set and the monkeys squabble and menace about below. The auto driver even let us stop half way up to take photos of the delicious view. The rest of the day was spent wondering around the nature park (which wasn't overly prosperous due to droughts) and discovering that the amazing must see waterfall had dried up. Still we had a little boat trip on the small lake and enjoyed the not too hot sunshine. Honestly the most heavenly day with some lovely people. I may not have been having daily panic attacks since being in India I defiantly needed this peaceful break. I am so grateful for this chance to gather my thoughts and be free.

 I pray for those all over the world who never have the chance to feel safe, break away and have time for themselves.

Stay Beautiful,

Zsofia 

       xxxx

'The hills are alive with the sounds of music'